Mortification post

The Bloggess has been posting HYSTERICAL mortifying stories (here and more). My favorite one is both too long to tweet and not about me, although certainly if I put a little thought into it I can come up with plenty of really dumb things I've done.

This one is about my friend S who was sleeping over. She starting shrieking in the middle of the night: "FIRE! RAPE! CALL 911!" I called 911.

Turns out she'd been sleeping on her arm, all curled up in bed. Said arm had fallen totally asleep and the sleeping hand was touching her face.

Animal update

Also, blog update. I have no idea what direction to take this blog. I stopped blogging at after (can this be??) 4 years. Perhaps I'll write more of those kinds of posts here. Bloggery has changed so much in the (can this be??) 8 years since I started this one that I can't keep up with Joneses or anyone else.

So I'll write about my pets, because they're entertaining. For those new to the cast of characters, there are three: the cat, Comma, an old and cranky tuxedo lady; the pit bull Annie, a vast brindle beast without the sense to come in out of the rain; and Banjo, a fawn pit bull mix who is smarter than many humans I know.

They're a mess.

Today's observation centers around dog food. I got the two dogs nearly at the same time, and they were young puppies, so I raised them not to eat each other's food. It's nonnegotiable. They know not to go near the other one's bowl, and they never do.

But I didn't think the cat would ever enter the fray.

This morning I heard rumbles of malcontent and went to investigate. I found the cat sitting calmly at Banjo's bowl, eating her food. Banjo was flummoxed at this turn of affairs. She knows she isn't allowed to eat Annie's food, and Annie has never eaten her food, but is she allowed to fight with the cat? She danced around and howled.

I removed the cat and put her on the fridge, where her (full) bowl sat. Both dogs sat by their bowls. Everyone was too confused to continue with breakfast. I went back to bed.

Just now I heard another commotion and found a similar tableau, only this time I discovered that the cat had carefully picked all the chicken pieces out of Banjo's dog food. And carried them bit by bit up to her bowl.

I've always had twisted coworkers

I randomly just remembered one of the funnier things that's ever happened to me at work...and it was back when I was an editor! I share it now for general entertainment.

Back story: I worked with J, who liked to draw strange cartoons. Why? I don't question these things. We had a freelancer T, whom I'd happened to overhear on the phone with another colleague, saying he appreciated being able to work from home because he was disabled. We also all knew that he was gay.

Meanwhile, J was preparing a package for T and included a sketch of Captain Cupcake. It was a drawing of a cupcake wearing a pirate's hat and an eye patch, and it had a peg leg. Why the cupcake? I do not ask why.

Later that evening I mentioned the phone call, and J put down his beer (we weren't at work anymore).

"I just sent a drawing of a cupcake with a peg leg to a disabled gay man?"

"Um, I guess so, yes."

"And you didn't think you should MENTION THIS?"

"Um, I guess not, no."

There was hatred and bitterness.

Fortunately, T did not take offense to Captain Cupcake...

You WANT this $12 Sport band for your Apple Watch

Well, maybe you don't, but if you have an Apple Watch and are tired of the color you originally bought, $12 is a fantastic advantage over Apple's $50.

These come in the usual colors for both sizes of Watch and, like, Apple's, include three parts for two sizes. I got the pink one (pictured). I have had the blue that came with my original order, and I like it just fine, but one does crave a bit of change.

I can't distinguish this from the Apple one other than looking at it; it has the same squishy feel, latches in the same hole, and resists dirt. My skin doesn't itch. It arrived in a few days (it wasn't a Prime offering when I bought it last week).

What's not to like?

I also bought one of these from Zenok leather. Apparently I am overcome with a need for variety. Expensive? Hellz yeah. BUT not as pricey as an Apple one, and this is an independent crafter. I've bought notebooks from this Etsy shop before and trust the products.

HIPAA Is Overrated |

"HIPAA is not what it is made out to be. Nurses must use caution and professional judgement, but we need not gag ourselves into complete silence. If we discuss a patient or situation in such a way that no one without their own inside knowledge could know with certainty who it is, it is not a HIPAA violation!"

The summer is KILLING me

I'm not blogging much lately; I'm not much of anything lately. We're having our usual heat wave, only this year I'm out in it rather than sleeping through the heat of the day. It isn't going well. For 7 years I've been a night crawler, which is excellent in the summer. For the most part I was inside in a dark air-conditioned place during the heat of the day. Now I'm in and out of a hot car all day.

For years I joked about being a light-fearing vampire. I really don't like the sun. It's bright and hot. I have no desire to be out in it. It makes my eyes hurt, and the whole experience is just generally unpleasant for me. However, it isn't funny now. I think I had good reasons for being a night owl, because now that I'm not, it's really a difficult adjustment.

There is horrible fatigue. There are puking headaches. There is nausea. A coworker finally mentioned that it must be like having to move to another climate in a different time zone, and I think it kind of is!

Ah well. I can't expect for years of habit and conditioning to be reversed instantly. I'm sure I will adapt. This schedule has to be healthier in the long run, and I'm already exercising much more consistently. I just think it's ironic that so much attention goes to how to survive night shift where here I am having the worst time moving to days!

This recruiter? Is a MORON

Background: I applied for a job a few months ago within the umbrella of one of those giant healthcare companies. A different facility, just within the same giant company. I drove through a snowstorm to get to my interview, was searched and then sniffed by dogs, and waited at least 30 minutes. At which point I got a PHONE CALL saying "we were just told not to bother interviewing you, because you won't be hired." Any particular reason? "I'm sure you know." Well, no. This is all very cloak-and-dagger. (I found out that someone who doesn't like me may or not be involved with a higher-up there, but far be it from me to suggest that politics could affect my job prospects.)

Needless to say, I was angry.

I've subsequently found that I dodged a bullet because it's a horrible place to work, so, it all came out in the wash.


Yesterday, out of the blue, I got a recruiting letter from this company, wanting me to apply for the SAME JOB, and offering me a sign-on bonus.

Needless to say, I was angry.

I replied politely, explained the situation, and suggested that they focus on retention and professionalism rather than recruiting if they're having to beg people they chased out of the place to come there with a big bonus.

This goes in my all-time "are you kidding me" bucket.

Updates on my fascinating life, thoughts on Apple Music, and...?

Hey, I survived another 4th of July! I have a new salaried job (hospice case manager), so not only did I NOT have to work the 4th in an ER, I didn't have to work at all. And I got paid anyway. That's some awesomesauce right there. I used Friday to jet down and spend the day with my grandparents in their assisted living apartment. I can only hope that if I live to be 95, I'm doing as well as they are.

They're 95. 95! I hope I got most of my genes from this side of my family.

They're 95. 95! I hope I got most of my genes from this side of my family.

On the actual 4th I got up early and drove home to dog-sit, because one of my pit bulls goes ape from Things That Make Noise. This includes thunder and fireworks. She turns cartwheels and pants until she froths. So I drug her and sit home with her. I know how to party, people.

So, during my trip into the pits of Southeast Kansas, I experimented more with Apple Music. Typically I fuss over playlists in Spotify and download them all for offline listening, but I resolved to see if Apple Music would "just work." Aside from Beats 1, for which I had to turn on my VPN, it actually did. There are dead zones down there; I got much better reception in rural Italy than I do in my hometown. Nevertheless, by some dark magic, the music never even jittered. Beats 1, by the way, holds no attraction for me. I've given it a good try, but my music tastes manage to exclude every song they play, ever.

I listen to a lot of music. I have a huge iTunes library. I've been happily paying Spotify $9.99 for years. I have already canceled my subscription there. For my needs, Apple Music is a slam-dunk.

  • The stuff I stream integrates seamlessly with my existing playlists, so all those smart playlists keep working with my streamed music.
  • The "for you" recommendations are creepily good.
  • My Apple Watch playlist now syncs streamed music to my watch, so I am finally freed of lugging my iPhone out to exercise. I want to listen to NEW music when I'm out!
  • Thus far I have discovered only one track I wanted that Apple Music didn't have, and I listened to some weird stuff.
  • I like the iTunes Match simulation well enough.

It packages all of the things I actually DO with music into one service. It's not a particularly user-friendly service at first, but as I recall Spotify has been through a lot of interations at this point. I've been doggedly trying to make subscription services work, back from the Napster and Rhapsody days, and now I have a solution that finally works.

I hope Apple makes a lot of UI improvements to it, though. iTunes needs to be nuked and repaved.