Conversations with the SO, part X


Him: I like eggs. Eggs are the perfect food.

Me: What's so perfect about them? They come out a chicken's ass.

Him: No, they don't. They come out of their cochlea.

Me [envisioning chickens pushing eggs out the sides of their heads]: I don't think so.

Him: ...maybe that's not it.

Me: I Googled it. They come out their vent and do have poo on them.

Him: I'm good with it.

For the curious (from

Okay this is a touchy subject and if you are easily "grossed out" don't bother to continue. However, due to the number of people that sheepishly ask me and all the misconceptions out there, there seems to be a secret need for this information (that fact that you are still reading is proof enough); let me enlighten you. Chicken anatomy is not the same as people. I hope it is well known that people have different aperatures for different tasks in the pelvic region. Not true with chickens. For lack of a better term, chickens have only one "hole" called a "vent." They use this for all the things you can imagine need to happen. Chickens do not urinate. Instead urine is processed into uric acid and is excreted with feces. The "white part" of bird crap is the "urine" and the "dark spot" is the feces. This all needs to come out the vent. The good news is that there is a "valve" that separates the intestines from the egg chute (see diagram, right). The eggs still occasionally get some crap on them. Ummm, sorry chicken bathroom habits aren't great and they will crap in the nests. In the factory farms, this probably happens much more....