Cats: the same thing happens every day

I wish I could write posts like the artist at Hyperbole and a Half---for a lot of reasons, actually, but right now so that I could accurately and amusingly convey my cat's behavior. If it WERE dementia it would not be funny at all, because she's super old and will probably die soon (as I've been saying for nearly a decade). She does the following EVERY MORNING ("morning," for me, occuring at any time after I've been asleep for a while).

  • Jumps in my lap. Knocks her head or rump against my coffee mug, nearly spilling coffee into my keyboard, thus causing me to push her off the other side of my lap.
  • Circles around and jumps in my my lap. Same.
  • Repeat for as long as I'm sitting at the computer.
  • Occasionally she tries from the other side, as if maybe I won't notice.

Either way, I spend the entire time I'm sitting at my computer basically assisting her to walk over my lap from one side to the other, and she isn't FORGETTING that she was put back on the ground or she wouldn't try from the other side. This has been going on for 20 years. I'm starting to think she isn't going to learn to stay on the ground.