I'm frakking exhausted

Mainly, I'm just posting to whine, so if you're bored with catharsis (that sounds better than "whining"), move along. I'm sick of feeling jet-lagged and stupid. My reaction times are off. I can't think of words for things. I feel like I have Alzheimer's disease because I'M SO TIRED I'M STUPID. Today, this is because of a failed attempt to carefully plan my sleep so that I could sleep overnight and feel awake today. If you work days, this will sound retarded, but on nights this is how we roll. What you do is, wake yourself up early after sleeping some, say 1 or 2 pm. That way you're stupidly tired, you hope, for only the ONE afternoon and can sleep that night, wake up the next day, and feel like a normal person. Interjection. I'm not now and have never been someone who does well on less than 7 hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep in a given 24-hour period. Meaning I can't function without that for long. It's not happening lately. I'm going on 3 or 4 at a time here and there.

It isn't working. I felt stupidly tired all afternoon, and then I slept from 2am to 6am, sort of, laid awake until 7, and then got up in a rage. I STILL feel exhausted. I'm so tired I'm actually crying with frustration. I hate this. The issue seems to be with trying to coordinate my life with someone else's who doesn't have my schedule. If I can just sleep when I want I'm OK, but that doesn't happen, ever, in a nightshift world, because hardly anyone else lives there.

I'm grateful to have a good job and I love my job, and I do keep that in mind, but I feel like I'm going to drop dead. I'm so tired my stomach feels like it's filled with acid, and the crying thing is never good. But can I sleep now? No! So I'll drag myself to the gym and get nothing done all day because, as I mentioned, I'm so stupid I can't really do anything other than stare at the TV and grunt.

And write strangely articulate blog posts, evidently.