In which I complain amusingly about my day (maybe)

I'm in a day that's gotten so bad it's past infuriating and into the sublime. Last night was my last of three shifts in a row, all of which were relatively harrowing for various reasons. Around midnight I realized MY THROAT HURTS REALLY BAD. Like, really bad. Bad as in I'd rather spit instead of swallowing my own saliva, bad. Scorching evil bad. And I felt suddenly exhausted more than I'd expect. By 6AM, I was barely upright and totally miserable. I yearned for my pillow. It was pretty bad.

In bounced our educator. "Let's do your ACLS recert before you leave!" Me: "I'm half dead. And I haven't studied." Her: "We're doing it today" (shortened slightly; warranted subtext: "you're an ER nurse and shouldn't NEED to study ACLS"). So I did that, and it was no big deal, but lord I wanted to sleep.

No such luck. I responsibly maxed myself out on Tylenol and Advil but my throat hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. Then my chest started aching and I started coughing up alarming thick green goo. I finally gave up on sleeping and accepted the necessity of a doctor visit. Then the fun started.

I went to the local walk-in clinic, in which dwells my PCP. My file got pushed back because the receptionist assumed I'd need to see MY doctor, when in fact I didn't give a rat's ass, so after an hour or so I asked why everyone had been but me. We sorted that out with only mild aggression on my part. I finally saw a different doctor, a good one, who peered into my throat, swabbed it, and listened to my lungs and said I needed a chest x-ray. Which sounded odd to me since I wasn't really having any trouble breathing, but I know this guy so I got the x-ray. Which showed a right lower lobe infiltrate. So I came away with twin diagnoses of strep and pneumonia (yes, I just HAD strep) and some prescriptions.

Which I took next door to the pharmacy. They filled the scripts with admirable speed, and the tech gave me a sheet to sign, the accept-or-decline counseling one. I signed the decline side. She said, "By law, we have to counsel you, so you have to wait for a pharmacist." I said, "Then why do you have the decline column?" We argued for a while, and I pulled the rarely used "I'm a nurse, and this is bullshit" card. No dice. So I waited. And waited. Finally a harried pharmacist came over ("I hear you have some questions?"). NO, I don't have any questions. He said, "You signed a request for counseling." I told him it would be best for everyone if he just handed over my prescriptions so I could go home without further discussion, and he did.

Then I had to go to the grocery store for shit like cat food and toilet paper---the stuff you can't put off. It was packed. Mind you, at this point it's been about 26 hours since I slept at all, I'm febrile, I'm in pain, I'm pissed off about the doctor's office and the pharmacy tech---and I'm sort of bitchy anyway. So I find the shortest line behind a lady who's nearly done checking out. AFTER she has like two carts filled with sacks of marshmallow fluff and haunch of boar, she says, "I forgot my checkbook, so I got to run to the bank over there real quick so's I can pay." Then she giggled and said, "I'm so sorry!" in that way that people expect you do giggle back and go, "Oh, that's FINE!"

So then I lost my temper. "You KNEW you'd be making people wait on your lazy ass to waddle across the store and get money and didn't care because it would take too much time to walk across the store twice! Sorry, my ass! Just go! Come back fast!" Lady: "What's your problem?" Me: "Right now, the fact that you're talking and not walking. Fast!" She looked at me like "are you serious," decided I was, and weebled away.

I did note that the cashier and bagger appeared to have a strange facial palsey much like the one I get when I'm trying to not laugh my ass off.

But seriously. Who does that??

Then I couldn't find my car and dropped my case of soda in the parking lot. Obviously I did locate my car and found my way home. And the cats have a clean box and I have toilet paper, prescriptions, and a chance of sleep soon.