I found it---a way to say my piercings help me with my job! It took awhile, but I knew if I persevered I'd win through. I had a possibly dehydrated small person who was screaming her head off and not in the mood to cooperate with my exam, despite my finding her a toy and cranking up the charm full blast. I really needed to see inside her mouth to see how dry she was, but no amount of coaxing or cajoling got more than a loud toddler "NO!" Which she somehow screamed without opening her mouth enough for me to see inside of it.
I was inspired.
I said, "I like your earrings. Here's the deal. I have a pretty, shiny earring in my TONGUE. If you stick your tongue out at ME, I'll stick my tongue out at YOU, and you can look at it!" Hey. You use the resources at your disposal with kids.
The screaming stopped as though I'd hit a switch, and after a skeptical moment she yawned for about 5 minutes and let me shine a light down her throat. As promised, I stuck my tongue out at her, and she thought that was about the funniest thing she'd seen all day ("SHINY!").
I may be borrowed by my colleagues from now on.