I posted a few days ago about my career crisis (and found from the comments on the blog, Facebook, Twitter, and real life that I am FAR from alone), and I guess I'm still officially in it, but I almost feel like this profession is an addiction…something you could stop doing but would still think about and wish for. I hear sirens in the distance and get a warm and fuzzy feeling. I hear conversations about heart conditions and everything else mutes. I automatically categorize everyone I meet as "easy sticks" or "hard sticks" on sight. I like the fact that just by doing my job I can make someone feel better. REALLY better. Night-and-day better. I like the crazy chaos at 4 AM when multiple traumas come in and we somehow, somehow stretch our resources to absorb them and save lives.
I have to find a way to be a nurse for the 40 hours a week I'm actually at the emergency department and not fret about it the other 128 hours of the week I'm NOT at the emergency department. I just have to. I really think that there is a crisis in healthcare right now and that those of us who are passionate about it have an obligation to find a way to stick with the program. My sick dad keeps coming to mind, obviously. Do I want nurses like me taking care of him or nurses who are just punching a time clock? I want nurses like me taking care of him! I want nurses who are hungry for the latest research and evidence-based practice but still see the importance of giving him a freaking bath. I'm one of those. I need to find a way to stay the course.