I really like this photo. I have been working on taking photos of people instead of all objects because (1) it's hard for me because I feel intrusive, (2) I'm bored with just headshots of smiling people, and (3) it's just something new. It brings a whole new layer of artistic challenge to tell a story about someone by trying to capture them in a microsecond of shutter time. The way I've found so far to practice this trade is to just carry around a camera all the time. People seem to think it grows out of your head that way and forget you have it, so they act differently than if they were posing all the time. I have consolidated my gadgetry somewhat, too. I sold my Air and iMac and replaced them with a 13-inch MacBook Pro, which I love. EIGHT hours of battery life? Holy cow. I'm unreasonably pleased with the built-in SD slot, too. It isn't that difficult to hook up a card reader, yet I'm all excited every time I get to use it. A 13-inch screen is fine for me. I used a white 13-inch MacBook for years and was fine with it. I was actually planning to buy a 15-inch MPB because I do so much photo stuff, but it looked giant to me, and I do carry my laptop around quite a lot, so I went back to the 13-incher. I had no trouble selling my Air and iMac on Craigslist. Macs really do retain their value. Try selling several-year-old PCs for more than $50. Anyway, I just have the MPB and iPad now. I still have my Kindle, but I think I'm going to give it to my dad. Maybe. I do like how little and light it is; it's nice to stuff in my purse compared with an iPad. We'll see.
Why all this technological shuffling? I had too many gadgets, mainly; I am annoyed by having to keep things synced. Also, though, I don't know where my career is going. I haven't worked for weeks, and only 2 of those weeks were by choice from FMLA leave. There's no reason I can't, but my fate rests in the hands of a dude who doesn't know me from Adam's housecat, and HR will do what he says, so that makes me pretty nervous. If he issues conditions I don't like, I don't know that I will jump through too many hoops. I love being a nurse, and it's what I want to do, obviously, but I've had a lot of time to sit around thinking about it, and I don't like it enough to compromise my self-image too much to keep doing it. Which means I need to make money some other way, and that most likely would mean returning to writing and editing full time---thus necessitating some updated tech. My iMac was long in the tooth and not too quick, and the Air, although fine for blogging, would not be good for staring at for hours at a time. Clearly if given a REASON for buying a new computer, I'm ON IT. Normally I just do it without a good reason. Or I could work at another hospital or another area of nursing. I am thinking the 10-foot commute option sounds good, though. I don't have enough data to know WHAT I'm going to do.
None of this may happen. This dude (the "impartial expert" who listed all of his biases---of which there were many, thus prompting me to mention he might want to look up "impartial"---to me when we met) I see in a few days may say, "Hrm…yes, I agree with other three physicians who have stated you may return from your FMLA leave without restriction," and I may jump right back into the fray. (I take this opportunity again to exhort readers never, ever, under any condition, to take FMLA leave.)
And speaking of which, my dad is feeling relatively groovy these days. He even…gasp…goes up STAIRS occasionally. He is not out of the woods yet, and his last bad collapse (the one that resulted in the offending FMLA leave) occurred just when he was starting to look really good, but one takes successes when they occur.
I'm basically suspended in stop motion lately. I am waiting to hear what the fates decide, I'm waiting to see how my dad does…. You would think it's awesome to sit around with the ability to do anything I want, but it actually kind of sucks. When it's not by choice, it sucks. I'm staying busy, but I want to have a trajectory of some kind. Meanwhile, I'll keep reading a crapton of books, taking a lot of photos, and try to chill.