Sick. And tired.

I just reminded myself of the Bill Cosby thing where he says his mom was always sick and tired of things. "One day she said, 'I am SICK...' and I said, 'and tired!' I don't remember anything after that." Funny dude. But that's not what I sat down to write. I don't have much to say, actually. I got the GI bug last week that's slain our entire town, and although I'm sick a lot, I rarely get the abdominal pain/N/V/D stuff. Part of it is that I hate being queasy so much that I simply refuse to get those bugs, I think. I'd rather have pneumonia than sit on the toilet with a trash can in my hands, yet I spent a good 32 hours just about like that. It was as bad as my patients were making it look. It was as if I had the plague. A friend dropped off some Gatorade, Immodium, applesauce, and bananas and texted me "I left stuff on your doormat." SHE wasn't going to get what I had! So then I got over that and promptly got a fairly energetic rhinovirus, which is much more tolerable but doesn't have me turning cartwheels yet.

Work is making me more tired lately than usual. It's probably because I've been sick, and another part of it is that my stupid apartment complex feels that the prolonged use of air guns to nail up new patio railings is just fine for the entire working day. I know the world can't totally cater to night shift, but isn't there another one they could put on on the other side of the quad for a while?? We're also losing nurses in droves. I don't think I'm allowed to write about staffing, so I won't do that, but it seems like everyone is quitting, moving, transferring off night shift, or, sometimes, it seems, simply vanishing. I haven't been at this job for very long, and only TWO full-time nightshifters are there who were there when I started. Yeah, I was a deserter myself for a while, to a midshift, but I came to my senses and accepted my vampirism.

However. It does not attract people to a shift that turns over like that. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe supremely bad luck. One reason I like nightshift is the teamwork and "I got your back" feeling, so I don't think people are leaving because we're mean. I mean, ER nurses are "mean" all the time in some ways---it's our default. If you have thin skin or can't take a joke, work somewhere else. But there's mean and there's mean, and I don't think we're that mean relative to the profession at large. We don't eat our young. We give new nurses plenty of training. I'm mystified. But my point is, it's tiring. A whole shift full of new people is tiring. I want to dance into a trauma and have that magical synchronized teamwork where no one really talks but everything gets done. That doesn't happen when everyone is new. Everything gets done, but you don't walk out of the room doing a mental "boo-yah."

I know. I'm very demanding. But I LOVE that mental boo-yah. Now that I've written this post, I'll probably end up orienting one of these new grads. Wouldn't that be karmic?