Lying lies that lie

I got that title from this hilarious post and the comments from John Scalzi. I have been laughing for a solid week over that post. Why can't I write stuff like that? It started with this tweet:

A flatulent lemur-groper named @scottlynch78, WITH WHOM I HAVE NEVER BEFORE SPOKEN, is spreading lies ABOUT ME:

followed by this tweet:

I have naturally responded to his lying lies that lie with the GENTLE BALM OF TRUTH, which you will see in the comments.

I felt at the time that several lemur-gropers of the nursing world would benefit from the GENTLE BALM OF TRUTH, but as I had severe ocular fatigue due to extensive eye-rolling at their preposterous, lazy accusations alleging that I MADE UP the document from the Arizona Board of Nursing, I waited until now, when I feel well rested and can point to the multiple commenters who have already applied said gentle balm and to the fact that despite others having obtained this document, Andrew Lopez (who, in an ironic twist, goes by @nursefriendly on Twitter and who, sadly, has the unwarranted temerity to call himself a nurse) continues to assert that I fabricated it.

EVEN THOUGH the document I posted listed a name and phone number to call with questions, and EVEN THOUGH anyone can find the address of the Arizona Board of Nursing, and EVEN THOUGH I posted a name and e-mail address from which anyone could obtain this document, and EVEN THOUGH Amanda Trujillo herself did not call its authenticity into question, this dedicated-to-the-point-of-worrisomeness person has spent an alarming amount of time blowing up Twitter and, evidently, Facebook AND the sad excuse of server space that he calls his Web site alleging that I WILL NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS. The best part is that he accuses ME OF ENGAGING IN A SMEAR CAMPAIGN.

Although I was entertained briefly by this behavior, the thrill wore off when he threatened me, because apparently that's a good demonstration of nurse advocacy, and I grew further bored when, in the face of my repeatedly answering the same requests for information, all he could come up with was that I WOULD NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS and the document was a hoax. It was with great sadness that I blocked him from commenting here and blocked his tweets as well, but his repetitive drivel was causing vague feelings of nausea (possibly from all the eye-rolling). It had to be done.

Now that other (less lazy) bloggers have obtained the document, thus proving that all of his libelous accusations (and lying lies that lie) were false, I wait with breathless excitement for his apology. I'm shocked---shocked!---that none has been forthcoming.