Lip piercing. Or, why do I do this?

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I include the photo of me looking horrifying, just having woken up (I'm not a morning person---shockingly---and THIS IS MY MORNING), because the timing of the photo is freaking priceless. She was really trying to lick me while I fended her off, but it looks like she is attacking.

In the photo you can also see that although my net number of piercings remains the same (I ditched the nostril one after yanking it out with a towel one too many times), I now sport a lip piercing. I've wanted one for a long time, and I went to KC with a friend so SHE could get a piercing. Stunningly, I got one too. I'd heard lip piercings were easy-peasy, not much pain, and healed quickly, so I felt confident.

THEY'RE TERRIBLE. It hurt more than expected initially, even though it wasn't too bad, and that was probably because of the no-pain expectations I had. But the aftermath is miserable. It's like having a really bad cold sore in that you are miserable all over from it but you think, "it's a frakking cold sore! Why am I this miserable?" My lip looks like I had a collagen injection (kudos to the piercer, who chose a post that would be juuuust long enough to accommodate this silliness), it rubs against my teeth, and it's almost impossible to eat. However, having had my tongue pierced three times, I am able to eat. Very slowly. Still the flatback from the labret has caught on my teeth twice and pulled on my lip, and horrifying words escaped my otherwise virginally pure lips.

I called the piercing parlor, and the piercer said after the swelling goes down and a shorter post is possible, it won't touch my teeth anymore and I'll be able to eat fine. Which is what I figured anyway, but I'm fussy about my teeth. I'm willing to take a chance with adornments I reaaaaally like, but if they're going to jack up my teeth, buh-bye. I think I can survive a month of extreme carefulness and so can my teeth.

When it heals I'm probably going to get one of those multicolored tiny opal stones for it. Or maybe just a clear sparkly one. Either will be tiny. I'll be good to go as far as my ability to look "normal" if necessary; labret retainers are hard to see, and I had this hole placed where it's in the shadow of my lip (or will be, when the swelling decreases enough for my lip to fold over again). I have no nostril piercing to hide anymore, and the septum is easily made invisible.

Meanwhile: I await that day that arrives with oral piercings when suddenly the swelling goes down and you think, "whew, I'm going to make it." It happens suddenly. That day is not today.