Doing drugs will make you high

This is not a joke title. Some people have to be told. A LOT OF PEOPLE. Examples:

  • I smoked some weed and now I feel funny.
  • I did some E had I can't sleep.
  • I took an Ambien and now I AM sleepy.
  • I BE TRIPPIN' ON THIS SHIT! (after LSD ingestion).
  • I shot up a lot of meth and my heart is racing.

I could go on. I just don't understand this phenomenon of "I took a drug and am experiencing the effects I presumably expected to have so now I will go to the ER and bug out completely." These patients get really upset. And if they're minors, their parents get more upset. "Nobody is doing anything!" Nope. You pretty much have to sleep this shit off. Just like when you were a kid.

And don't get me started on why being drunk is now emergent all the time. What happened to letting people get drunk and puke? Now they all have to come to the ER for Zofran. (Unrelated interjection: if you tell me repeatedly you are a nurse and ask what "Solfran" is...no, honey.) Your neighborhood ER: ameliorating hangovers on the public tab. Mostly the drunks don't want to be there either. A good time for all. Also the little old lady in CHF next door probably loves hearing the drunk yelling "I wanna go home, you shoopid ugly cunt!" And so on.

In summary: if you do drugs, you will get high. If you drink, you will get drunk. Generally, these things are not emergencies.