Can't we all just get along?

Of course not, if more than ONE human is involved. I've noticed that's the cutoff for peace reigning. Especially if one of those humans is me. I talked to two trusted friends yesterday and said, "Why am I always in trouble? How do YOU stay out of trouble?" The first one said, "I fly under the radar." I asked, "How? TEACH me, Yoda." I think she fell asleep then and didn't text me back, so I asked the next friend, who said, "Uh...I'm not sure you have the kind of personality that ALLOWS flying under the radar."

"WHAT THE FUCK," I said. "Why not?

"Uh...that, right there," she said.

So OK, that might be a fair point. As to how she stays out of trouble, she says she takes the high road no matter how mean and unfair other people are. I don't think I have the personality for that either. I've thought about it for like 12 hours now, and nothing would ever get done if everyone did that. That "turn the other cheek" idea is a nonstarter for me. And "please, sir, can I have some more?" Not so much.

Is there a happy medium?

I get super angry about stuff at work and think I should just stay home and freelance again, but then I remember that made me super mad too. Pretty much any time someone does something incompetent or that inconveniences me or seems unfair in any way, I get mad and upset. Those things occur, as I decided previously, any time more than just I am involved in an interaction. And sometimes when it's just me. I have some good arguments with myself, some of which I win.

So, yeah. Any answers here? For those of you who just can't watch injustice quietly and who don't like taking ridiculous unfairness with a smile on your face: HOW do you negotiate standing up for yourself, but staying out of trouble? Is it an either/or thing?

I know these are things humans should be taught growing up, but (1) I am not grown up and (2) my custodial parent's solution to everything was to yell really loud and make up conspiracy theories, and I found those to be ineffectual means of solving problems.