The way you spend your days

The way you spend your days is the way you spend your life.

I heard that some time ago and thought, fuck. I just thought of it again, and this time I'm paying attention. Because so far I've been awake for an hour and 15 minutes and am so angry I feel certain my blood pressure is high and I feel like storming around and eating junk food before work. Because THAT will totally injure the person who "made me mad." (I know people can't "make me mad" any more than they can "make me happy," but I'm not so good at that whole "Lookee me controlling my emotions regardless of external circumstances!")

Yeah, no, someone MADE ME MAD.

People make me mad a lot. Situations make me upset. Blah blah blah. And I let it DESTROY me. I spent the last 15 minutes writing down what I want in life, and then I realized you would never know it from looking at what I do. I wrote things like "lose weight" and "run 3 miles again," for example, but I eat junk and rarely leave the house with running shoes on.

I pretty much spend my days asleep and then working or reading or watching TV until I can go back to bed. That's how I spend my days. That's how I spend my life. Asleep or getting through a span of time. I endure my life, if you look at it objectively.

No likey. I'm going to start spending my days differently. So that I'll be spending my life differently, and it won't HAVE to be endured. It'll be lived.