Pediatrics are awesome

I've taken care of some funny kids lately.

  • I often explain to small children that an IV will be "a little straw in your arm so we can give you medicine to make you feel better." That worked fine until one kept trying to drink out of the Luer lock. I said, "it's not that kind of straw." The child narrowed her eyes. "You DRINK out of straws," she said, as if talking to a total idiot. I had to concede the case.

  • Similarly, with appropriately aged kids I tell them "let's play a game...we will see if I can have this straw in your arm by the time you finish your ABC's." And then I have them practice to get their minds off of me getting ready with all my supplies. This one faltered a bit, so I prompted him. "LMNO...what's next?" Exasperated, he said, "Don't you KNOW the ABC's?"

You can't make this stuff up.