My true superpower: found!

I have come to believe that all nurses have a superpower and an Achilles heel. I have three heels, which jacks up my metaphor, but bear with me. Every nurse I've asked about this admits, sometimes under duress, that there are things he or she just REALLY HATES. And not in the sense of "I'm so tired of cleaning up C diff." In the sense of "I may actually gag in public."

By far, the winner is sputum. Nurses seem to hate deep suctioning. This one doesn't bother me. I actually find it somehow satisfying to suck out all the thick sticky goo making my patient feel bad. I met one nurse who just couldn't stand poo. He started gagging when I had to carry a sample to do a GUAIC on. (I hope he stays out of medical nursing.)

Mine? Eyes, burns, and pregnant women. I include pregnant women not because they make me want to yak, but because I feel about them much like I would about a possibly armed bomb. I don't mind pregnancy emergencies once the mother and baby have come to part. At that point I have 2 patients in 2 bodies and a balance is restored. But at any time before that, I fuss. SOMETHING MIGHT BE GOING WRONG AND I WOULDN'T KNOW.

I have just now learned my true superpower, though. I used to think it was IVs. I can start IVs on the worst sticks you ever saw. Come to find out, I have an even more useful superpower: the ability to spot potential disasters!

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Yes, it's a superpower. Disasters planned for are less so. And it makes me a genius at scheduling disaster drills. "We need a worst-case scenario." Oh man, I've got 10 of them at the ready. "Here's our plan for this patient/employee situation." OK, so what if this and this and this happen?

YEARS of sphincter-tightening heart-racing fear from panic disorder? Finally paying off! I should be a consultant to design disaster drills! Especially in jails and prisons. I think of stuff NO ONE has ever thought of except probably inmates, because they are mostly all geniuses who use their powers for evil instead of good.

Disaster girl: she delivers!