Conversations with friends, part X

Here is what I woke up to this morning.

[Darth Vader noise from phone]: Text reading "Call when you can. Have ?

Me: What's up?

Darth Vader text tone friend (DVTTF): My wife and I are having an argument. There was this guy who placed an ad on a cannabalism site. Another guy responded to the ad, and the first guy killed and ate him.

Me: What's the question?

DVTTF: I say it's NOT murder because the guy SIGNED UP for it. SHE says it is because if you kill someone else it's still wrong.

Me: What's the question?

DVTTF: She says she's afraid to sleep next to me anymore. Can you believe she's JUST NOW figuring that one out?

Me: No. I'm going to make coffee now.

DVTTF: Later.